Whilst working on yesterday's haiga, I repeatedly questioned its originality: moon gets chopped up by water - I plunge into it. Not hugely original but I figured I'd rather have at least attempted a unique moon haiku, than avoid the subject.
I settled on words that hopefully evoke images of cool water rushing past ears, a warm night, a quiet, solitary experience; and perhaps even suggest the idea of pulling the celestial down into a very sensory experience.
With these thoughts in mind, I went to bed and composed the following in my sleep:
salty moon
on a summer day
night swimming
I was more than a little amused that even my subconscious is now trying its hand at penning a unique moon haiku.
The moon bewitches us endlessly...n'est-ce pas?
ReplyDeleteI quite like this one too Dalloway - the thought of a salty moon on a hot day...
We can look at the moon and see its features. She doesn't rob the sky of her stars. We can't look at the sun, I suppose. But you're right. My next haiku will have the sun in it, Dalloway.
ReplyDeleteLove this, Dalloway...very unique..
ReplyDeleteMoon is so much a romantic imagery...alluring, at times elusive...all those are phases in love :)
wishes,
devika
yep, moon with its slightly mysterious allure is one of the most used objects in haiku. and again, youmanage to find fresh ways to write about it.
ReplyDeleteone remark, though, if you don't mind. you have both day and night in this haiku. perhaps you might consider eliminating one?
I had noticed this Polona... but I thought who am I to correct my subconscious?!
ReplyDeleteI like it.
ReplyDelete_Dalloway, you created delving thoughts, and they brought me to this:
ReplyDeletethe moon
rises from the sea...
day swimmer
I apologize for hitch-hikeing on your idea.
_m
Hitchhike away Magyar. Im honoured. And I I love it - the link between night and day is nicely done.
ReplyDeleteDevika, Janice - I think you are the true romantics amongst us.
Thanks Masago.
Oh, and Patrick, the moon doesnt rob us of the stars thats true, but the sun is our star - and a life giving one at that. Come to think of it, your midwinter sun is the most memorable sun haiku Ive come across. Still, I look forward to the next one.
...and if the moon rises out of the sea, would it not be the 'salty moon?' This moon, the 'day swimmer' that it once was, now flys thru the night.
ReplyDelete_m
Im very glad I inspired such a grand thought Magyar
ReplyDeleteglad you told the story- I thought I was the only person doing that! :)
ReplyDeletegreat selection again
ReplyDeleteA classical haibun? I don't know. Do I care? Not really - for your piece is good to read and its message is useful to know. Thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Ralf
Salty moon! Tasting good!
ReplyDeleteLike it - salty, summer and swimming re-inforce the theme.
ReplyDeleteIf you write traditional haiku, Dalloway, you're bound to find that you're often working variations on themes that others have explored. But as long as you're true to your own perception, yours will be original in the sense that counts.
ReplyDelete