Wednesday, April 1, 2009

*
old jetty
the smallest feather falling
through my blouse
*
Ambrosia, Issue 3, Spring 2009

9 comments:

  1. a lot said in this. beautifully said, too.

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  2. Many thanks. I liked this one.

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  3. i loved the subtlty in this,
    Nice one, Dalloway

    wishes,
    devika

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  4. Dalloway, thanks for your comment on Shelley's Sonnet! I get very few comments on these posts even though they're getting hundreds of readers - probably high school and college students.

    I agree with Devika. This is a fine haiku and subtle. I imagine a warm night and calm sea. There's no reason to wear anything more than the thinnest blouse - something that even the lightest feather can find it's way through.

    As always, I admire the freshness and originality of your haiku.

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  5. Thanks Devika and Patrick, I was starting feel like giving up.

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  6. Never give up!
    _In short... this is a lovely haiku that collects the jetty, the bird that shed the feather, and the wearer of the blouse into... one fine thought.
    _m

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  7. A bit surreal on first sight. But the thinnest blouse isn't a textile, ist it? I like it very much.

    Best wishes
    Ralf

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  8. I like the haiku touch of focusing on the small, with the lightest of touches of haiku humour.

    all my best,
    Alan
    With Words Online Haiku Competition
    .

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  9. evocative
    and provocative -
    nice

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Thanks for taking the time to write something.