Howsoever you did it, delightful Dalloway :)and loved the haiga :)wishes, devika
oh man- I LOVE L2/L3!! it fits so well with the picture. great work!
Lovely combo of haiku and picture...
Did you mean splice or spice? Splice works.Something I do with my own haiku & poetry, and this may only be my own aesthetic at work, is to constantly pair away as many words as possible. Words get in the way; and, to me, the fewest that can express an idea frequently posses the most expressiveness and clarity. It's sort of like Zen gardening for poetry. What distinguishes weeds from flowers is often - not much. But once one gets the weeds out of the way, the flowers bloom.So, as an example of what I would do with your haiku:mango splicepainting away the autumn bluesAnd that's my 2 cents. Not sure everyone would agree with me but - just my thoughts. As usual, though, your ideas are original and fresh. I love them.
Mango Splice is the actual name of the paint I used. Its also the name of an icecream - so it has that summer nostalgia feel.As for your re-write - well, you might be right again Patrick. That makes two in a row. For what its worth I may have got there in the end. Im finding I have this impulsive streak when it comes to writing/blogging. I dont think theres a haiku on here I havent fiddled with a day after its posted. I just cant muster the strength to sit on a haiku for a day or two before sticking it out here for the world to see. In any event, thanks for your considered opinion - as always.And thanks Frank, John and Devika.
Now that's and idea, an opposite colour (on the colour wheel)!
very effective, and i can relate...i like patrick's version, too. but don't worry, many of my efforts end up slightly changed - but i don't bother changing the drafts on my blog.
Here too... Dalloway.I'm the same way. Sometimes I don't have the patience. I just want to post the haiku. Unlike Polona, though, I'll go back and change it on the blog.We're all in good company though. All of the great Japanese poets did the same thing... despite all those claims of Zen oneness and spontaneousness.
_Dalloway, I agree with Andrew, L2 and L3 are a grand thought. Well done!_Hey. On the Mango Splice wall? You've missed a spot. Oooops... nope, its just a smudge on my screen! Smile! :<) _m
Thats remarkably restrained of you, Polona.
I keep wanting to see your haiku actually written on the wall!I used to visit a children's illustrator who lived close by. I took my children to visit with her sometimes. Her name was Trina Schart-Hyman. I loved her house. She would write her favorite poems and literary passages on the walls - everywhere. The house was magical.
Knowing me, Id probably want to change a word - so I suspect painting a haiku on the wall, or getting a tattoo, is probably out of the question (that, and my three year old would probably object - he has firm views on these things).Sounds like a delightful place to take your girls. Memory making.
Magyar, please tell me its a smudge on your screen. Ive taken down the masking tape.
I love it! You have a good keen sense of what haiku humour should be.all my best,AlanWith Words Online Haiku Competition.
This one is perfection. I love the layering; the beginning letting go of the end. Wonderful.T
Thanks for taking the time to write something.