summer rainhigh-rise fallsinto mistAmbrosia, Issue 3, Spring 2009
to me, this is what haiku is about. a u nique way of seeing things, and more than that...besides, you may have given me an idea ;)
Hi Dalloway,son singingin the living room; one daydays will seem shorterThis is a warm Haiku. The phrase: "one day/days will seem short" seems too writerly to me. I'm not sure about the repetition of day/days in such a short form. Every word is precious. On the other hand, maybe that's an effect you were looking for? But Polona is right: You have a unique and fresh way of looking at things.summer rainhigh-rise fallsinto the mistA nice sketch, as Shiki called Haiku like these.I hope all is well. The fires in Australia are very much in the news here. I suspect you might be wishing for some of Polona's winter.
Hi Patrick, I pulled the son singing haiku off the blog as I had second thoughts... It'll go back up when Im happy with it. Might go with my first version (Im starting to suspect that haiku is more about trusting my juices).Thanks for your best wishes. Here's hoping the fires are out soon.
Just reached from Andrew'sI liked this one, but am still a trainee in Japanese forms :)wishes, devika
Thanks for taking the time to write something.